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Crackered to Torquay
by Jonathan Toulmin
Tom Dark, that wizard
with pre-war cars, - especially those with octagonal pistons (I've heard
it said!) - decided to go skiing in early January and I was delighted.
Whilst Pat & I take to the slopes each year also, and I am pleased
when others enjoy the same pursuits as I, it was not for this reason
that I was gad that Tom was going skiing, but selfishly because it left
a vacant passenger seat in Ian Williamson's Cream Cracker MG. So it was
that I was delighted to accept Ian's offer of a "bounce" for
him for the Exeter Trial, in place of the absent Tom. It was a
particular pleasure for several reasons. I have competed in many Exeters,
but not in recent years, since my duties as Clerk of the Course of the
Clee Hills Trial (which takes place just two weeks after the Exeter)
preclude the time necessary for preparing the Marlin and taking in the
event. But since the first owner (In December 1935) of Ian's Cream
Cracker MG was my father, I could not pass up the opportunity of
experiencing the thrill of rushing up Fingle or Simms in Dad's old car.
It was particularly appropriate as the competition debut of this
particular car was the Exeter Trial of 63 years ago.
The Exeter Trial is
always the first weekend in January, and the Clee Hills Trial is two
weeks after that. Now having just posted out the supplementary
regulations for the Clee, I knew very well that my event would take
place on Sunday January 18th, so the Exeter was obviously Saturday
January 3rd. Having accepted Ian's invitation, it came as something of a
shock to discover that the MCC had slipped the date of the Exeter by one
week. So the very day that I was suppose to be wandering around the
South Shropshire hills putting up notices warning walkers and riders
that one week later their tranquillity would be "disturbed" by
some strange vehicles driving in odd ways in unusual places, I would be
bouncing my way up Tillerton! But a commitment had been made, so lateral
thinking was employed to resolve the "being in two places at the
same time" dilemma.
My first trial (only as
bouncer) was in Steve Dear's Cream Cracker [now owned by Alan Grassam]
over 25 years ago. Steve's advice, on what to wear, was to go to the
wardrobe, take out (and put to one side) my Dinner Jacket and Sunday
Suit - and wear everything else! I took his advice : and I was
still cold! Since then, I have discovered thermal underwear! This year I
was too hot - such is the vagrancy of the British weather. If this is
global warming, give me more!
My long suffering and
understanding wife was persuaded to collect me from Torquay at the end
of the trial and (she hadn't realised) to drive me to Ian's house in
Burford before the start. Ian and I left Burford in his MG more or less
on the stroke of midnight for Cirencester. Ian let me drive the Cracker
which was a real thrill : its Marshal supercharger making a wonderful
scream at high revs and giving the little car excellent performance.
On arrival at Quarry
Motors, we met many old friends and enjoyed a delicious cheese burger
from the mobile food van parked on the forecourt. Having started my
first Exeter from this garage (which has been considerably improved over
the years), I was sorry to learn that it will no longer be available to
the MCC for future Exeter starts. It seems strange that 100 odd
competitors all buying petrol doesn't make it an attractive business
proposition. Time does not stand still.
At 1.30 am, or
thereabouts, we set off, stopping briefly to let the other teams members
(Grassam MG PA Cream Cracker & Bill Bennett J2) catch up. We ran
together for 3 hours through a moonlit night, the route taking us down
the Fosse Way for a mile or two, then down the A429 around Malmesbury to
Chippenham. Here there is a superb new by-pass which adds about 5 miles
to the route! Then we rejoined the familiar A350 to Melksham and
Warminster. After passing the Deverills (which appeared slightly
sinister as the moon was partially obscured by cloud), the route turned
west along the apparently never-ending A303 dual carriageway. I told Ian
that there is no point in hurrying as one only has to park in a lay-by
to avoid penalty for being early. But I checked the route book, and
there was no mention of an "ETA", so we kept going.
At the Cricket St Thomas
breakfast stop, parking tidily on the steep grass was more difficult
than some subsequent sections! Even before an observed section has been
tackled, there was the normal array of competitors doing major repairs
to their vehicles - like changing the crankshaft or fitting a new
radiator. The MG seems in fine fettle so we went straight inside and
enjoyed (?) the uniquely prepared breakfast of bacon, beans, tomatoes
fried egg & bread etc. etc. at 5.20am. After breakfast I spoke to
team-mate Alan Grassam who said "I'm just going for my
bananas" [I'm told that these are supposed to help you stay awake,
but I think that they may have side effects as well].
We started Section 1,
Gatcombe Lane, at 6.10. My driver advised 15 psi, so after a short hiss
from the rear tyres we set off on the slightly greasy start, mud on a
stony base. It was a nice tidy drive by Ian with no problems whatsoever,
and then a long lane to the tarmac.
Shortly before 6.30 am
(and still very dark), we arrived at the bottom of Norman's Hump. There
was a 40-minute queue, so it was obvious that 'The Hump' was failing a
substantial proportion - its one of those sections that is worth waiting
for. The track appears to rise almost vertically through the trees with
a surface of light brown mud. We debated tyre pressures. My experience
is that anything below 10 psi is risky unless the tyres are bolted to
the rims. The MG is on new wheels and does not have the usual bolts, but
Ian said that "other measures" had been taken, and he decided
on 8 psi for this section. It was very muddy and squelchy underfoot, but
a very warm morning. I spent the time checking the route book, and to my
dismay it was apparent that Class 2 would be required to tackle the
whole section, whereas in previous years, 'Section Ends' for Class 2 has
been at the cross track half way up. After this short, and level
mid-point, the track gets even steeper, and even muddier! This would be
a real challenge - confirmed by the huge number of failures. I have
struggled up the top half in the Marlin in previous years with 4 psi in
the tyres (tyre bolts fitted!).
Eventually it is our
turn. It is still dark, Ian had the Cracker on the rev limiter,
supercharger pop off valves going, in fact everything going as we
stormed up the steep and difficult , very slippery, top half of Norman's
Hump in a virtuoso display of Cracker driving. The elation at the top is
tremendous. It was just beginning to get a little bit light, (7.15 am).
It seemed like Bill Bennett and Alan Grassam had also cleared it, so the
team was clean so far. I was over optimistic - we met a reversing JB
3854 (Alan's Cracker) at the cross track on our approach tom the section
(Clinton) which is in the same woods as Norman's. On our approach to
Clinton we passed a very dead Austin Mini, which we think probably
retired from the 1974 Exeter and is still
awaiting collection. Unfortunately for the owner, other people have
collected parts of it in the intervening year. Then behold we came
across a second but older Austin (7), but this one has Jeremy Flann's
legs hanging out and his head is under the dashboard.
Having stormed up
Norman's, we thought that Clinton would be easy. Ian took a good line
round the tight right-hand hairpin at the start, and floored the
throttle for the steep initial climb. Suddenly the engine revved like
mad, again on the rev limiter, and I immediately thought that the car
had jumped out of gear. We came to an immediate halt. We reversed to the
foot of the section and found the right rear tyre completely flat. The
"other measures" for keeping tyres attached to wheels had not
worked. This was a bitter pill. We were quiet in contemplation as we
left the section at a quarter to eight. The marshal at the crossing of
Norman's Hump has just waved us through, as we see a failure, an MG
Midget I think. The cross track here is very muddy, very gooey, like
over thinned cement. We drove now without the headlights.
Ten minutes later, we had
arrived at Waterloo, and wait behind the Austin 7 of Richard Clarke. We
had brand new tyres at the start of the event, but after Clinton, the
right rear is a partly worn tyre, and that is the most important one for
first very sharp right hand corner on Waterloo. We agree on 10 psi this
time! Ian has the measure of Waterloo, and skilfully slides the Cracker
round the hairpins of this superb section. But at the top we were in for
huge surprise. Clear passing "Observed Section Ends", we
continued up the track, when with no warning whatsoever, and apparently
emerging from the hedge on our left at about 20 mph was Tom Goggin's
Ford. In fact, the "Fails" route joined the track here, but
there was no mention of this in the route book, and we did not know of
the Escort joining "our" track, and clearly Tom did not know
that the MG was joining "his" track. A very close run thing.
Could have been very expensive, and it was my side : pre-war MGs were
not fitted with side-intrusion beams in the doors!
Immediately out of
Sidford, it was nice to see Bill Bennett, in his J2, waiting for us, we
overtook him and he followed us up the narrow lane. A competitor in
front of us missed the right turn in the town and was seen disappearing
up the main road.It was 8.25 as we arrived at Section 5 (Stretes). No
problem at Stretes, we waltzed up - only problem being that my money was
being shed into Ian's seat, so he may have made a profit on this trip!
At the top of the section we discover that we have lost one member of
our team - it seemed that he was having trouble with his bowels or
something else at the rear. We went on without him, being assured that
we could do nothing to help. John England's Escort (141) was parked at
the side of the road and seemed to be in mechanical trouble, with Alan
Selwood (also Escort) giving assistance. Ian Blackburn looking on in his
usual knowledgeable fashion, offering advice or moral support.
It was 8.40 as we
approached Honiton and the sun was up - a little bit misty, but a blue
sky - a beautiful day. At 9.20, and as we were approaching the
Greenslinch Special Test, we have passed some horses and riders, where
two lovely (and very attractive) young horsewomen smiled at us as
we drove quietly past - a missed opportunity? We then turned left down
what the MCC amazingly called an "unmade" track. We were about
to find out what they meant by "unmade" - are they not all
unmade, or perhaps they are all "made" (must have been 'made'
by something! When we got there it looked like every other muddy track
!! - between banks, with a few brambles to catch your eye, and heading
for a special test.
Perhaps this will be
where we will see how much power the MG has. (Ian told me it has xxx
horse-power -that is amazing for a 939cc engine, even with a large
supercharger, but he said that it was secret). There was some delay, -
now that's novel for a special test! The track has a hard surface
(probably) so was there some hidden terror. Without waders it was
impossible to walk forward for a preview.
Mr Jones, Mr Peter Jones
(MG TC) has just taken a photograph of us and now wants to take a
photograph of a proper car - we might get in twice! Windscreens are
being folded, (I wasn't sure whether this was an astute move or a
foolish one - I had forgotten to bring my spare eyes. Ian is going for a
British compromise on the tyre pressures at 14. We would like a pee, but
with Francis Maynard two cars behind (the boss's lady) we had to forgo
the pleasure. In the delay, Ian and I had a guessing game here. There
were two large plastic bottles, which appeared to have milk in or they
might have had Vim to mark the lines, which would be an entirely
fruitless exercise, as we were in something resembling slurry -
allegedly an unmade track is a slurry bath. The special test was through
soup, oxtail soup. You could loose a "Silver" by getting it
wrong, so the MG's horsepower is not necessary and Ian takes it
leisurely, but gets it right. From line A, drive forward through slurry
to an ill-defined line B, and then forward again to line C - possibly
the most boring special test undertaken.
At last, at just after 10
o'clock, we arrived at the M5 Exeter Services. Gerald and Trish Burridge
are here, as our supporters club. 3 months after winning a much desired
Triple, Gerald is still smiling (or is the pain in the wallet necessary
to get the PB back on the road?) "Put him down Trish - you don't
know where he's been " I advised Trish as she gave Ian a big hug
"I do actually" retorts Trish. (I wonder what she means, does
Gerald know?) After a short stop for swapping of liquids and a
cheese-burger, we filled up with fuel and caught up with Alan Grassam
who seems to have resolved his rear end (banana?) problem and we were
still running with Bill Bennett in his lovely green J2. I had given
Ian's car a 189 mile service : I opened bonnet and the engine was still
there, there was oil everywhere so that was OK, I checked the radiator,
which appeared to have the correct amount of milk in it, and the gear
lever was still in place, so we were ready to depart.
At exactly 11.20, we
arrived at Windout, which is certainly twisty and there are some good
corners on it. There's a good ford at the bottom, and we parked behind
the Citroen 2CV of Nick Ikin. At Windout Ian decided to adjust the front
tyre pressures - for reasons, which for all time, will remain a total
mystery. Bill required a torch and was suitably impressed when we had
two - other people have twin carburettors, or even twin camshafts or
spare wheels : we have twin torches! So Ian's PB is having a 226.9 mile
service (check front tyre pressures), Bill's J2 has its front number
plate polished and Alan's PA - well it was just bloody dirty, basically,
except it has clean front and rear competition numbers - front number
plate illegible, all the badges except the Triple M one totally
illegible, could be anything, fairly prominent blue discs scattered
liberally around in some feeble attempt to persuade marshals to
exonerate him from doing restarts. It was good to see Anne Templeton
marshalling at the bottom of Windout, and I gave her a big wave, but Ian
was already on his way up the section, so unfortunately there was no
time to chat up the ACTC
Vice-President!
We were on the A30,
cruising along at 3,400 rpm, when, a Austin 7 goes screaming past (they
are not allowed to overtake Cream Crackers!) It was Winston & Isabel
Teague! Soon we were at the bottom of Tillerton, at almost midday. Ian
did a 14psi job on the tyres, the ford was not very deep, there was a
little watery sun through a slightly cloudy sky, but with little bits of
blue. Tillerton is a fabulous section - if you've never done it in the
wet, you haven't lived! The restart can be a real challenge on smooth
slate, but our blue disc let us off that difficulty and we were clear.
So far, only the tyre falling off on Clinton had spoilt our run. The MG
sounded wonderful through the Devonshire lanes, the exhaust echoing off
the dry stone walls. What do the MCC mean by QQ in the route card?!
We met John and Jenny
West (again) at the diff test at the bottom of Fingle, and Robin Moore
at the special test at the top. Although an easy section, Fingle Bridge
is magnificent. It is in truly superb countryside, and is a series of
hairpin bends, which go on and on and on. I have a photo of my father
doing it in the 1930s - as a timed climb !! Now that would be fun (MCC
please note).
Then a short run to the
bottom of Wooston Steep. The approach to the track is a very sharp left
turn down a very steep hill. Ian sees the turn too late. He slams on the
brakes. On old MGs the handbrake is much more powerful than the
footbrake (Safety Fast?). The handbrake was my side, Ian called for more
brakes, so I grabbed the handbrake and pulled hard - still the MG rushed
on - I pulled more! The handbrake was into my seat, I thought it was
going to come off in my hands. It didn't! Eventually it stopped, a short
reverse, and we drive down the muddy track to Wooston Steep, and park
behind the Golf of David Haizelden and the 1172 Ford of David Child. It
was 12.50 pm and we were only about 8 minutes behind schedule. There was
quite a queue here, so I had time for a nice chat with Roger Pole, who
has sold his Marlin to a good home. Ian Blackburn, deciding the
underside of his Singer 9 needed attention, was doing a bit of his own
special mountaineering - 9 out of 10 for initiative. He got the front
wheels up a very steep bank and crawled underneath! Suddenly we are
ready for the fray.
There is a huge queue for
Simms, so we availed ourselves of the facilities provided : delicious
sausage rolls, cake and coffee were purchased and eaten whilst chatting
to John Arrowsmith. There were dozens of spectators walking up and down
the steep and very narrow approach road, and even whilst still a hundred
yards from the section, we heard a round of applause for an earlier
competitor. Again we debated tyre pressures. It is agreed that what we
need is speed, at least 30 mph round the corner!. There was a good crowd
at Simms and they give a round of applause for the last competitor. Ian
gave it everything - and a good deal more : we both knew it would be
very difficult. Despite the power, the speed and the sheer will to
succeed, we came to a halt on the slippery polished rock slab - and it
stopped everyone else who came after us.
So the "Silver"
had gone too. Just Slippery Sam to go. This is another section that was
used in the 1930s and is still worth driving up today. After the long
wait at Simms, there was no delay for the last section, and apart from
driving over a huge stone (the size of a football) in the middle of the
track between the two very sharp hairpin bends, it caused no trouble.
Immediately we gave the MG a bath - in the pink soup that fills holes
the size of the MG on the exit from Sam. And so a short distance to the
finish at Torquay and a desperately needed pint! The trial has surpassed
all expectation and the MCC must be congratulated on putting together
the best Exeter for many years, the weather helped, but the sections
were intelligently laid out, the timing was a big improvement over
previous years, and if you didn't do it, you missed a treat!
Pat was there at the
finish and picked me, and soon I was asleep as she drove me home to
Stratford on Avon. The next morning at 10am I was sticking signs onto
trees in near Bridgnorth for "my" trial one week later!
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